if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
