I hate all girls vehemently.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
