What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
