drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
