I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
