think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
too bad you live with your parents still
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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