I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize