Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you had me at cake vodka
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
