I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
be right there i have to get my cape
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
