I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
