Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
