you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
