Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize