Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
