We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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