I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
