you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
