I think I died a long time ago.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
