When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
