and she was petting her beer can
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
