She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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