He is such a slut. More and more my type.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
