bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
