everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
