so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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