I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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