U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
