Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
