i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
