I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
