Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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