All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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