also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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