wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
