That's intense
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
