The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
