thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
