yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
