Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
