You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
