It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Congratulations! We have a period
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
