Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
