I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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