walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
