Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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