Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
