those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
