Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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