Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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