I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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