(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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