Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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