I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
