There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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