Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
