Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
