Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
