the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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