okay pat passed out under dana's car
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
